"MOM!!!!"

"Hello and welcome aboard Waters-Sim airlines.  We know there are numerous carriers out there and we appreciate that you chose to follow us on our journey.  To my left is your captain, the handsome and dedicated Greg.  There is no co-pilot.   Apparently, that's because the passenger seat will not be occupied for longer than 3 concurrent seconds on this journey. 

Today, we will be taking the long way to Drumheller. We will not be making any sharp turns in this bus or going over the speed limit. Particularly when going up or down hills. We don't care how angry the people behind us look or what finger they are waving at us - we will be closing that curtain shortly (then we can't see them).

On our trip we will be making a quick stop in Stettler to play at the train park.  I'd like to take a minute and acknowledge the young man sitting with his back to us.  Thank you sir, for spotting that park and saving this flight attendant's sanity. 

Should you desire anything on your trip, don't hesitate to hit the call button.  It will yell "MOM" and I will promptly make my way to your seat to return to you any toy that you've dropped or your brother or sister has stolen.  If at first I don't respond, please don't give up. Continue to hit the call button over and over and over and over...

On this particular voyage we will be providing snacks around the clock. What's that?  You say that you can see the fridge, so you are hungry! Well sit back, let me offer you numerous items out of the cupboard to which your job will to be reply "is that all you have, I don't like that!" On this trip, I aim to please.  Until the food runs out - then please don't bother the flight attendant while she drinks her wine.

Finally, upon our descent into Drumheller we ask that you remain seated and do up your buckle for safety reasons. YES, the WHOLE buckle!  Upon arriving at our destination, you will be treated to a fantastic camping experience at a deluxe spot in the Poplar Grove Campground.  Tomorrow, you will embark on your bike and make your way to the Royal Tyrell Museum.  Now go to sleep. Seriously, SLEEP!!! And thanks again for choosing Waters-Sim airlines."